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Blog, Blogging, Jacque Lacan, online community, Online Writing, poetry, Shikibu Murasaki, touching and being touched, writing
These are the last lines of a poem I wrote long ago.
The accident of touching
is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
and hope to find yours there.
But I realize now that’s what this blog is all about, a way of “pausing my hand on purpose,” and hoping to find you there.
It’s all about touching, isn’t it? Touching others with our lives, our insights and understanding, our memories and dreams, our poetry and art. Blogging meets this basic human need—to touch others and be touched in return.
We’ve all heard how physical touching is essential to human health and happiness. They say people can shrivel up and die for want of being touched or having someone to touch. A simple pat on the shoulder, a hug, a hand squeeze can make all the difference. Merely having a pet, they say, saves lives.
But there’s a basic human need for another kind of touching—from the inside out. Touching others with what means the most to us, our deepest responses to the world around us. Keeping those unspoken, unexpressed, can be as withering as being untouched physically. Which is why, perhaps, so many writers and artists will give their work away for free if need be, just to allow what’s inside out into the world where it can touch others, and “evoke responses.”
“The function of language is not to inform but to evoke . . . responses.” — Jacques Lacan
It’s why, perhaps, art for art’s sake is a need for some. Art not to please others, but to evoke a response. To share something essential with others that must not go unspoken, unheard.
“Again and again something in one’s own life, or in the life around one, will seem so important that one cannot bear to let it pass into oblivion. There must never come a time, the writer feels, when people do not know about this.”
Shikibu Murasaki, Tale of Genji (978 – 1014 AD)
Blogging is like those conversations we have in the wee hours of the morning, when the party is over and all have left except for those few lingering souls who find themselves opening up to each other in ways they could never do when meeting on the street or over dinner. Those 3 AM conversations, you know.
That’s how blogging often is done too, late at night when we can’t sleep, or after we’ve put our novel to bed, or when we wake early and are seeking the company of other early risers, or those living half-way round the world from us.
In person, we rarely have time to bare our souls this way in such depth without interruption. But here we can do it without disturbing anyone’s sleep or taking them away from their work or families.
We can share our thoughts and evoke responses in our own time, and others can respond in the same way, with a quick “like” or a longer comment. And we can respond in return.
For loners or social introverts like myself, it’s a way of reaching out to others that feels more comfortable than the spoken word. I feel I may be getting “the best” of them in those wee hour revelations, as they are getting the best I have to offer, a side of myself I seldom share apart from the written page.
It’s the reciprocity that I find so meaningful. Touching and being touched in return.
Here’s the rest of that poem I wrote so long ago, unshared, until today.
The Accident of Touching
Once, in some wild gesture,
Some random fancy
I found my hand stretched out,
Open and unprotected.
There, your hand paused,
Palm moist and heavy
Yet warm and lively.
Before I thought to clasp it
The moment passed and
You were gone.
Now, I watch hands
As they quickly dart and
Never cease to move.
The accident of touching
Is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
And hope to find yours there.
by Deborah J. Brasket
More of my posts on blogging:
Blogging as Virtual Love-Making, and the Science Behind It
Is Blogging Orgasmic? More on the Science of Sharing
More of my poetry:
The Geometry and Geography of Love
A Scattering of Rocks – Zen in the Garden of Eden
Discover more from Deborah J. Brasket, Author
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Pingback: Blogging and “The Accident of Touching” | Tria Dara Barlian
This is like…wow!
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After being on the road for sometime, I am finally home and back to the blog! I’m super chuffed to see you have been freshly pressed again. Reading this post and the responses is no surprise, you manage to hit the nail on the head every time. You express what so many of us feel! And love the poem too 🙂
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Well said. Couldn’t agree more. The hunger for touch goes unfilled for many.
I reach out and touch your arm with a sincere ‘nice job’.
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Thank you, Jim.
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Lovely words, thank you. From the inside, out.
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Reblogged this on mrsturnerweb and commented:
Is the function of language to evoke responses rather than to inform?
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Thank you for the reblog!
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Reblogged this on aprilb – soprano and commented:
I’ve never done this before, but it seems like a good time to start! I hope you enjoy this blog post as much as I did. Beautiful thoughts and a beautiful poem.
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Thank you for sharing this. I have been struggling with my blog – not wanting to write what I ‘am supposed’ to write, and wanting to write what doesn’t belong out in the world! I hope you don’t mind that I ‘reblogged’ for my few readers. 🙂
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I don’t mind at all, and indeed, feel honored! All the best to you on this blogging adventure.
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This is amazing! I love the poem!!
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Thank you so much!
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Pingback: Peacocking | A Tree Grows in the Bayou
this was so complete and beautifully expressed that it makes me want to make an even more concerted effort to share more honestly in my writings.
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Such sweet words–so glad you stopped by.
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Pingback: Blogging and “The Accident of Touching” | Living on the Edge of the Wild | Greg's Blog
Nail on the head—hit!! Wonderful post and beautiful poem.
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What a beautiful poem, personally I think the human need or I dare I say prerequisite for touching is a cry from the soul/ spirit/ higher self for humanity to remind us that we need each other, no single man nor woman will be able to create heaven on earth alone. An end to suffering, hunger, poverty and war can only be brought about by a mass conscious effort on our behalf. Perhaps the need for touching someone is simply the soul trying to remind of us that.
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You put that so beautifully, and I so agree. Thank you for coming here and leaving your comment.
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Fingers caress inert keys –
Thought, taking wing
Spans space
Settling wistfully
before receptive eyes.
Minds stir, hearts reciprocate
With commonality of intent;
Age-old separatism
Begins to disperse
When understanding
Heart to heart.
Distances broached,
edges weft….
essences mist to view.
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That is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing here.
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Wonderful essay…as noted by Jacob Bronowski – “We must touch others…” Enjoyed your write-up…thank you.
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Nice post, great poem, and congrats on being Freshly Pressed, Deborah!
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Thank you, Erik. It was such a surprise!
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Reblogged this on Rudy Oldeschulte and commented:
Marvelous essay on touching…
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Thank you, and thanks for the reblog!
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Pingback: Blogging and “The Accident of Touching” | Free psychology
I really enjoyed this post. As an artist myself, I’m always trying to make connections with people through my poems. That’s why I send them out to journals (my fiction-writing friends can’t understand why we let journals publish us for free instead of submitting to paying markets). It comes back to your point about wanting to be touched deeply and reciprocating that sensation by offering — I love how you put it — “our deepest responses to the world around us.” Thanks for an insightful post, and congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
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You are so right, Alan. When I get something placed in a journal, I still say/think “I sold it” because it feels that way, I guess, or maybe that’s the way it should be. But being read, making that connection, is what I’m really aiming for. Thank you for making a connection here.
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What a beautiful post and poem, Deborah. I enjoyed the accompanying artwork as well, the Michelangelo piece fits perfectly.
It’s all about connection–with others, with the world around us–and how lovely the echo that reverberates long after we’re gone.
You words will echo for quite some time with me. Brava,
Christina
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I am so glad you liked the poem, and also the artwork–I do spend a lot of time trying to find the “perfect” photos to go with my posts. But it’s a work of love–you never know what you will discover!
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I truly enjoyed what you had to say…and LOVED the poem. I find that writers such as you are so incredible with the written word…that it often leaves the rest of us stunned and envious. Thank you for sharing…
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I am so glad you loved the poem–it has sat in a drawer for so many years. Nice to let it out. I think blogging has strengthened me as a writer, and comments like yours really mean a lot to me. Thank you.
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Beautifully written and I enjoyed the artwork, quotes and poem as well. Thanks!
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I am so glad–thank you!
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We believe in this word “Touching”
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Reblogged this on cheluvsyou78.
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your words immensely touched my heart and soul…someday, i hope i can sew words like you did. how beautiful your soul is… 🙂 thank you!
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What a lovely thing to say–thank you!
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A lovely perspective, delicately presented. The poem is nice, indeed. More power to your pen…oops, keyboard!
Permit me to share one of my recent posts with you:
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Thank you, sir. I enjoyed your post on blogging as well.
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Blogging is the best form of therapy. It’s gymnastics for the mind. I really enjoyed reading this post.
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“Gymnastics for the mind”–love that!
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That was real nice. Thank you : )
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Love this! I have read it again and again! 🙂
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Your thoughts about the more metaphysical meanings of touch are so perceptive. They brought into form many ideas that I had not yet quite unfolded in myself. It is helpful to hear success in art reframed as “connection,” which I believe we should get into the habit of “quantifying” mentally much as we mentally quantify the rewards of money or recognition. By embracing this truer perspective, we can open up a whole new, substantive-feeling rationale for our creatively communicative efforts.
I would like to submit that the expansion of the meaning of touch can be taken even a step further. One of my very favorite spiritual teachers, Swami Kriyananda, said something to the effect that it is actually an insult to the soul to assert that our health or happiness could depend in any measure on touching or being touched in a gross–that is, physical–way. For throughout life, there may be many whims of circumstance that permit or deny us such fleeting and, at least on some level, superficial experiences. To truly achieve the fulfillment that we associate with touch, we must realize, and consciously feel, deep within ourselves that we are already indissolubly linked to everyone and everything. If we can continually experience this as a reality independent of passing circumstances, then every time we reach outward in a more documentable fashion, whether with a hand or with the more subtle medium of words, we will simply be outwardly affirming and expressing the subtlest “touching” truth of all, which we have already found within. Having uncovered this truth, we will find ourselves able to both touch and be touched in the most profound, resonant ways.
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I’m in total agreement with what you write here and believe that “deep within ourselves that we are already indissolubly linked to everyone and everything” as you write. I am so glad you shared this here. Thank you.
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Pingback: What’s your blogging inspiration? | citifiedb
With the tiniest twist, it becomes Rumi:
“I pause my hand on purpose / and hope to find you there.”
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Ah, I’m honored. Rumi is sublime.
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Your writing is beautiful. Thank you for brightening up my day.
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Reblogged this on arkansaslgbtqelders and commented:
So True
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You described me PERFECTLY. I am not a writer yet, but I am aspiring to be one. I was blessed by breast cancer 2 years ago and I believe that the only real and lasting benefit of having this disease is to bless the lives of other people who may be facing a similar diagnoses.
For the record, I like to write at night. I guess being middle-aged and having insomnia now has an incredible benefit.
Thank you for your honesty and sincerity.
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What an inspiring way to look at adversity–as a way for us to help (bless) others struggling with similar troubles. I so appreciate your leaving your message here.
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Dear Deborah,
Your photo of Julia P. State Park caught my eye and so did the image of Michelangelo’s work.
Your poem touched my eye, in a good way. Thank you so very much.
I’ve found relationship and touch to be central to my experience as a human. I long to be in harmony, a triadic harmony with God, people and the rest of creation.
May you always find loving touch,
ryan
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Thank you, Ryan–I love how you put that–“a triadic harmony with God, people, and the rest of creation.” So glad you stopped here.
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Reblogged this on Notes from the Cosmic Universe.
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Hi Deborah
A line from your blog really struck me:
“Touching others with what means the most to us, our deepest responses to the world around us.”
It’s just so true! Well to me at least. I hope that’s the case for most other writers, musicians, poets and artists.
Touching others with our own interpretations and responses to the world is most definitely what artists of any kind are hoping to achieve. Not just for justification of their own responses to the world. But also to, as you quite rightly stated “evoke responses”. Whether that touch be intended to act as as outstretched arm, pushing the reader to respond in a way that puts the author beyond their understanding. Or, to act as a caressing hand to help ease the reader through their own responses to the world around them.
The response is the only measure of the touch. Whether the response is the intended one or not, the fact that there was a response means someone has listened to what you have to say.
That’s why I am writing now. Because your blog touched me. In a good way!
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I am so touched this resonates with you. I love these kinds of connections with other bloggers and writers and artists. Thank you so much for leaving our comment here. It means so much.
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*touching you hand* very nice. Love the poem also.
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Excellent article with great insight. Thank you for sharing it – and for the poem.
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Reblogged this on A View of the World from Aberdare and commented:
Why do you blog?
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Thank you for the comment and reblog, Michael.
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Thank you for this.
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Reblogged with honour
http://southweb.org/blog/blogging-and-the-accident-of-touching/
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Thanks for sharing this and thank you for sharing the poem. I couldn’t agree with you more on your outlook on blogging. I’m very new with my blog and wished I started it a long time ago, since it’s just so therapeutic to express what’s on my mind. Some people will read it and either find interest in it or not, but at the end of the day I’m happy if I at least impact one person. Thanks again for the great read.
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All the best to you on your new blog. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do. So glad you stopped by.
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congrats on Freshly Pressed Deborah!! What an interesting, thoughtful place you have created here! Such a lovely poem…thanks for sharing. i can’t wait to read more! I never thought about blogging in this way. i used to be a massage therapist so the subject of touch has crossed my mind often. absolutely blogging is about touching others, and being touched. hope to see you again!
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Thank you! As a message therapist, you have first hand experience with the way touch can be healing. Hope you will stop by again.
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Very well said (shared/touched). As I am recent to the blogging world, I agree completely, and I wonder to myself: Am i reaching out to touch, or be touched?
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I think they go hand in hand. Hope you will enjoy blogging as much as I do. So glad you stopped by.
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Deborah thank you. You nailed it. Everything you wrote here connects in deep ways. I blogged on a similar topic a while back. I was driving one day and thought we are going the same direction on our way to somewhere and yet our lives will likely never touch again. A shame I think. Here’s a link to the short article: http://saidsimply.wordpress.com/2013/08/11/traveling-people-pods/. Thank you again.
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Thank you–so glad this connects with you. I will check out that article.
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Enjoyed this.
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Thank you for this post. You truly have a wisdom instilled in your writing that anyone can appreciate.
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Thank you.
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Reblogged this on charlottewebbing and commented:
What Awesome Word’s & So very True
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How nice of you to reblog. Thank you.
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