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Blog, Blogging, Jacque Lacan, online community, Online Writing, poetry, Shikibu Murasaki, touching and being touched, writing
These are the last lines of a poem I wrote long ago.
The accident of touching
is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
and hope to find yours there.
But I realize now that’s what this blog is all about, a way of “pausing my hand on purpose,” and hoping to find you there.
It’s all about touching, isn’t it? Touching others with our lives, our insights and understanding, our memories and dreams, our poetry and art. Blogging meets this basic human need—to touch others and be touched in return.
We’ve all heard how physical touching is essential to human health and happiness. They say people can shrivel up and die for want of being touched or having someone to touch. A simple pat on the shoulder, a hug, a hand squeeze can make all the difference. Merely having a pet, they say, saves lives.
But there’s a basic human need for another kind of touching—from the inside out. Touching others with what means the most to us, our deepest responses to the world around us. Keeping those unspoken, unexpressed, can be as withering as being untouched physically. Which is why, perhaps, so many writers and artists will give their work away for free if need be, just to allow what’s inside out into the world where it can touch others, and “evoke responses.”
“The function of language is not to inform but to evoke . . . responses.” — Jacques Lacan
It’s why, perhaps, art for art’s sake is a need for some. Art not to please others, but to evoke a response. To share something essential with others that must not go unspoken, unheard.
“Again and again something in one’s own life, or in the life around one, will seem so important that one cannot bear to let it pass into oblivion. There must never come a time, the writer feels, when people do not know about this.”
Shikibu Murasaki, Tale of Genji (978 – 1014 AD)
Blogging is like those conversations we have in the wee hours of the morning, when the party is over and all have left except for those few lingering souls who find themselves opening up to each other in ways they could never do when meeting on the street or over dinner. Those 3 AM conversations, you know.
That’s how blogging often is done too, late at night when we can’t sleep, or after we’ve put our novel to bed, or when we wake early and are seeking the company of other early risers, or those living half-way round the world from us.
In person, we rarely have time to bare our souls this way in such depth without interruption. But here we can do it without disturbing anyone’s sleep or taking them away from their work or families.
We can share our thoughts and evoke responses in our own time, and others can respond in the same way, with a quick “like” or a longer comment. And we can respond in return.
For loners or social introverts like myself, it’s a way of reaching out to others that feels more comfortable than the spoken word. I feel I may be getting “the best” of them in those wee hour revelations, as they are getting the best I have to offer, a side of myself I seldom share apart from the written page.
It’s the reciprocity that I find so meaningful. Touching and being touched in return.
Here’s the rest of that poem I wrote so long ago, unshared, until today.
The Accident of Touching
Once, in some wild gesture,
Some random fancy
I found my hand stretched out,
Open and unprotected.
There, your hand paused,
Palm moist and heavy
Yet warm and lively.
Before I thought to clasp it
The moment passed and
You were gone.
Now, I watch hands
As they quickly dart and
Never cease to move.
The accident of touching
Is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
And hope to find yours there.
by Deborah J. Brasket
More of my posts on blogging:
Blogging as Virtual Love-Making, and the Science Behind It
Is Blogging Orgasmic? More on the Science of Sharing
More of my poetry:
The Geometry and Geography of Love
A Scattering of Rocks – Zen in the Garden of Eden
Discover more from Deborah J. Brasket, Author
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Deborah,
I am here for connection. So often we walk through life and as we do what it is we think we are supposed to do we pay the price of loss of connection. Without it there’s no passion and that is not the life I really want to live.
Thank you for the wonder full post.
Jim
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Thank you, Jim. Yes, passion, the things that excite us, inspire us–it’s natural for us to want to share these things with others, and as you say, sometimes in the humdrum of our lives we forget this, or have no real way of communicating those passions to others. So glad you stopped by today.
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Beautifully written and so true! I hadn’t thought about blogging in this way until now. Thanks for the enlightenment. CJ
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Thank you! I’m glad this spoke to you.
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I have just read you whole post aloud to my partner as we wait for the early ferry to Victoria BC. I find your words ring clear and true to my ear and wrap comfortably around my daily experience. A blessing this post you write. Thank you Deborah 🙂
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Wow! That just made my day. Thank you so much.
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Such lovely thoughts here – and I am so glad that you posted the whole poem, after you gave us a taste of those gorgeous two lines I was hooked!!
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Thank you, Gabriela! I’m so glad you liked the poem. That means a lo to me.
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Such a sweet post and poem! I really do love your poetry. I think you should compile a book of your poetry and sell it, because I would buy it and savor it! 😀
Blogging really is a way to touch others. And through blogging you can reach out in a way you can’t through social media, or even through your book. Blogging is immediate, it offers readers a chance to respond back, and the topics can be anything.
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Thank you, Chrys! That’s so encouraging. I’ve never given a lot of thought to publishing my poetry–most of it is so personal–but I love being able to share it here. Maybe I will think about putting it into a collection some day.
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You definitely should! 🙂
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Deborah, nice to connect with you through She Writes. I also think of my blog as reaching out–to touch hearts, inspire a thought or action, or provide small respite, a deep breath, a smile or a chuckle. I love your image of reaching out your hand in hopes of receiving a touch. It reminds me of how much we writers cherish a response. Thank you.
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You are so right, and I so appreciate your response.
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These accidental touches are romantically honest. It’s having folks with similar tastes, different opinions, big hearts and small-step-at-a-time visions touching one another that has made blogging and social media warm for me. Lovely poem, Deborah.
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You are so right. Thank you!
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really enjoyed the post; the smallest touch can make such difference, no matter what form it takes.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed this!
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You left me undone. Beautiful. I am always annoyed with myself for not reaching out – to someone like for instance– I could easily see myself talking to you over a glass of wine, but do I? Nope. There is the matter of time, which isn’t such a big deal. I tend to worry about other’s time and their creative commitments.
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Thank you, Brenda. What a lovely thing to say. I think we do meet from time to time over a glass of wine (inspiration!) when we visit each other’s blog and leave comments and extend the conversation we’ve each begun.
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Reblogged this on ystungar's Blog and commented:
Banda
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Reblogged this on yogitest3 and commented:
sf
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Lovely. And perhaps not so much an introvert, rather someone whose thoughts are more easily expressed through the written word? Just a thought, as I know that is me quite often – if I am writing something, words and thoughts come easily, but oft times I’m halfway (home) (to work) etc, before I think of what I should have or could have said to someone!
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That happens to me so often too! Always the best response comes too late. Oddly, writing out my thoughts this way began when I was a child and bumped heads with my mother–I could never explain why I was so upset, why I felt she was being so unfair in person, so I wrote her “letters”. And she wrote back! We came to understand each other so much better that way.
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Never thought of that with mom – might have made it easier to know each other. I did, however, used to write to my husband when we were dating and first married!
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I’ve never thought of blogging in such a way, but now it’s got me thinking of all the ways we physically, mentally, and emotionally touch others.
And now I realize I haven’t had a hug or even a handshake in a long while and I feel a little saddened by it.
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Consider this a virtual hug, just as your comment feels that way to me. I think it all begins in thought before it has expression in words or touch or action. That’s where the germ of any hug or expression of love or compassion or mere friendliness begins, and sometimes I think that thought can be transmitted to others even without the physical expression. Prayer works that way, I think,
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Thanks for the hug. I feel better now.
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Reblogged this on yogitest3 and commented:
Reblog..
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So true. With out blogs we can reach out and touch anyone in the world. Unfortunately, spammers too 😦
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You are so right! Fortunately my spam is pretty limited here. So glad you stopped by.
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Reblogged this on yogitest3 and commented:
Reblog..
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Loved this. Really glad you ended a great post with that poem you wrote so long ago. Perfect. -Cheers
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That is such a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing it. I have currently been going through some stressful situations and have taken to blogging (maybe not as great as it should be) but I find that putting it out there and getting rid of the baggage helps. Also its nice when I get a little comment back. Makes me feel I’m not alone. Thanks again.
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Those little comments–like yours–I agree, mean so much. Thank you for writing.
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What a wonderful expression of an idea. That’s why likes and views on blogs can become addictive to the blogger. This desire to connect with others, even so remotely as a blog, is powerful.
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It can become addictive, can’t it! So glad you stopped by.
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You’ve nailed it! The 3 a.m. post, writers who write just because we “need” to. And the blessing you feel when someone says, “You just described exactly the way I’m feeling.”
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Yes! That’s how I feel too when someone like you says “You nailed it!” Thank you.
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Your poem and this related blog post gave me chills! I sat here in suspense as you revealed my feelings to me! Thank you for being such a great writer and expressing this universal desire SO clearly! 🙂
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Wow! Your comment gives me chills. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.
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I like to think blogging is reminiscent of accidental conversations born of serendipitous meetings that linger long after strangers part company. Beautiful post.
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I like that–“serendipitous meetings”! Thank you.
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Dear Deborah,
Thank you for this very touching post. I loved this part, as it describes exactly how I feel about blogging:
“For loners or social introverts like myself, it’s a way of reaching out to others that feels more comfortable than the spoken word. … a side of myself I seldom share apart from the written page.”
You have such a beautiful writing style that makes a very “smooth read”, without making the reader stumble, as if taken by the river flow one reaches the other side without even noticing…
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I’m so glad this spoke to you. I love what you say about the river flow. Your kind words mean so much.
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Reblogged this on ☆ ~ UNTITLED ~ ☆ and commented:
Matthew 5:13 ESV
“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.
Help spice up the world! This a great post which talks about the importance of connecting, caring, and challenging each other. The fire in our hearts are dwindling. Hearts are becoming lost, chained, broken.Since every person in saltless Earth have been blessed with special and unique gifts, let’s unite and ignite a new burning flame in those same hearts. A hot, passionate fire for God.
1 Peter 4:10-11 (NIV) Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
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Thank you for the reblog and the kind words.
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This is so true. Thank you for posting this. I am glad it was freshly pressed so that I could find it and read it. Also, your poem is beautiful.
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Thanks for your post. If only more people could understand how important it is to “reach out and touch somebody’s hand” without hesitation. We need to realize the true essence of our humanity and learning to reach out is the a good beginning.
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Delightful to say the least. Why is it one can write volumes on a topic and not get the full point entirely? Then another (you indeed) can do so in just a few words and not miss a thing. Lovely and so enjoyed.
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Such beautiful musings and poetry. Sometimes I’ve wondered, if someone blogs without publicizing on FB or Pintrest or anything–does it have an arm or hand or pinkie to touch?
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Incredibly true.
When I used to be a therapist, more than one person said, “I come here because I NEED to be heard by someone… but don’t want all my secrets told.”
For me writing is as essential as breathing. And, like you said, our inner need to feel “touched” does press us to give our work away. To not share the piece is like having a baby and not bragging.
Thank you for sharing.
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As many have noted, this was beautifully put! Thank you for sharing. The post and the poem were both so well done–succinct, authentic, and inspiring.
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Pingback: Spice Up The World! | ☆ ~ UNTITLED ~ ☆
Really lovely poem. 🙂
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Love the poem and love the sentiment. I agree, blogging isn’t only about sharing one’s opinions, it’s about making a connection.
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Beautifully written poetry and article. It sure did ‘touch’ me. A very profound perspective on some thing as simple as touch.
Cheers!
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This is so beautifully true. Not only does your story describe me perfectly, it makes sense of me. Excellent.
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A great post with a profound simplicity that we overlook every day. When it comes down to it everything we do is about connection. Thanks for the reminder.
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“But there’s a basic human need for another kind of touching—from the inside out. Touching others with what means the most to us, our deepest responses to the world around us.”
This is exactly why I blog and that is the reason your post touched me so deeply. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
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This is rich
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This is a really good post. Youre right we are here to somehow touch the lives of others.
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Pingback: Blogging and “The Accident of Touching” | kimneff28
I liked this quote: “Again and again something in one’s own life, or in the life around one, will seem so important that one cannot bear to let it pass into oblivion.”.
Lovely post!
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Deborah, Now I know what it really means to be a blogger. Thank you.
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Reblogged this on Deron0112's Blog and commented:
This is awesome
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Great post! Very interesting to read, I had never thought writing or blogging as almost “touching” the lives of other people in a physical way.
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“Touching others with our lives, our insights and understanding, our memories and dreams, our poetry and art. Blogging meets this basic human need—to touch others and be touched in return.”
-I was moved by your lines. I am really new to blogging and those lines are really powerful. Thank you so much. 🙂
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I absolutely love love loooooooooooved this post! I hope you don’t mind, I’ll be following you from here on out. It’s nice to met you Deborah!!!
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Reblogged this on From Slacker To Scribe.
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Beautifully written Deb. I shall-from here on out-follow your posts happily. Thank you.
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At this time, the purpose of blogging long term has become for me, meeting an urge to give the best thoughts and perspectives of what I’ve seen as a record for family, friends and who ever else wants to ponder often over what I’ve said or seen.
Then I will be dust but I will have left something for others who know me well in person, a spirit of me.
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Thank you so much for this! I just took up writing again and felt a pang of guilt that may be I was writing just to get readers and comments. Of course I enjoy writing but after reading this post I realized that the desire for response and interaction isn’t bad at all!
I’m also really excited that you quoted Murasaki Shikibu 🙂
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