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Blog, Blogging, Jacque Lacan, online community, Online Writing, poetry, Shikibu Murasaki, touching and being touched, writing
These are the last lines of a poem I wrote long ago.
The accident of touching
is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
and hope to find yours there.
But I realize now that’s what this blog is all about, a way of “pausing my hand on purpose,” and hoping to find you there.
It’s all about touching, isn’t it? Touching others with our lives, our insights and understanding, our memories and dreams, our poetry and art. Blogging meets this basic human need—to touch others and be touched in return.
We’ve all heard how physical touching is essential to human health and happiness. They say people can shrivel up and die for want of being touched or having someone to touch. A simple pat on the shoulder, a hug, a hand squeeze can make all the difference. Merely having a pet, they say, saves lives.
But there’s a basic human need for another kind of touching—from the inside out. Touching others with what means the most to us, our deepest responses to the world around us. Keeping those unspoken, unexpressed, can be as withering as being untouched physically. Which is why, perhaps, so many writers and artists will give their work away for free if need be, just to allow what’s inside out into the world where it can touch others, and “evoke responses.”
“The function of language is not to inform but to evoke . . . responses.” — Jacques Lacan
It’s why, perhaps, art for art’s sake is a need for some. Art not to please others, but to evoke a response. To share something essential with others that must not go unspoken, unheard.
“Again and again something in one’s own life, or in the life around one, will seem so important that one cannot bear to let it pass into oblivion. There must never come a time, the writer feels, when people do not know about this.”
Shikibu Murasaki, Tale of Genji (978 – 1014 AD)
Blogging is like those conversations we have in the wee hours of the morning, when the party is over and all have left except for those few lingering souls who find themselves opening up to each other in ways they could never do when meeting on the street or over dinner. Those 3 AM conversations, you know.
That’s how blogging often is done too, late at night when we can’t sleep, or after we’ve put our novel to bed, or when we wake early and are seeking the company of other early risers, or those living half-way round the world from us.
In person, we rarely have time to bare our souls this way in such depth without interruption. But here we can do it without disturbing anyone’s sleep or taking them away from their work or families.
We can share our thoughts and evoke responses in our own time, and others can respond in the same way, with a quick “like” or a longer comment. And we can respond in return.
For loners or social introverts like myself, it’s a way of reaching out to others that feels more comfortable than the spoken word. I feel I may be getting “the best” of them in those wee hour revelations, as they are getting the best I have to offer, a side of myself I seldom share apart from the written page.
It’s the reciprocity that I find so meaningful. Touching and being touched in return.
Here’s the rest of that poem I wrote so long ago, unshared, until today.
The Accident of Touching
Once, in some wild gesture,
Some random fancy
I found my hand stretched out,
Open and unprotected.
There, your hand paused,
Palm moist and heavy
Yet warm and lively.
Before I thought to clasp it
The moment passed and
You were gone.
Now, I watch hands
As they quickly dart and
Never cease to move.
The accident of touching
Is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
And hope to find yours there.
by Deborah J. Brasket
More of my posts on blogging:
Blogging as Virtual Love-Making, and the Science Behind It
Is Blogging Orgasmic? More on the Science of Sharing
More of my poetry:
The Geometry and Geography of Love
A Scattering of Rocks – Zen in the Garden of Eden
Discover more from Deborah J. Brasket, Author
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Thank you for writing this post it is so beautiful. It captures that true human desire to be known completely. I have just started holding my hand out in the dark hoping to find someone there. You give me hope that there are others waiting to touch and be touched. Thanks again.
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Wonderful post. Reminds me of all those accidental touches where I feel something like an electric shock and make eye contact. Then maybe, we look guiltily at each other and apologise. Well, no. I might just smile casually and say “Excuse me,” when really what I want to say is “Do that again.”
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Lovely!
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You’ve totally “captured” in your words & your poem why so many of us blog for free..Without expecting anything in return other than a “connection”..A chance to freely express ourselves & hope, pray!, someone else out there can learn from our lifes’ experiences..Least that is the way I see it & that is exactly why I blog.(including sharing the poems I’ve penned) 2 thumbs UP on your write!
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Thank you! So glad you had a chance to read this and respond.
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Virtual high 5^
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This was very true, a very true and relatable post, I really enjoyed reading this.
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Words can be either beautiful or discouraging. That is the power of words. They can be hurt or help and I just wish and even looked for certain kinds of words and when they did come, on my father’s deathbed, those words covered a lot of sin.
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Fantastic the way you put your thoughts and surely the thoughts of many, into words. I truly believe in a “universal consciousness” (you know, people a world apart coming up with the sane idea at the same time, like Edison and the light bulb and the guy who published his work on the very same implement a few weeks after Edison…) and at 3 am maybe our brains are just be more receptive to it. Thanks for putting it so eloquently into words 🙂
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So glad you shared your thoughts here. I too believe in a “universal consciousness” and often feel when I write that I tap into it–it’s not “me”, it’s my “significant other” writing! 🙂
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Hi deborah , you are putting words as I read as if I can hear you speak. I feel you girl. Bravo for the sweetest things written. Keep it up. Hope to meet you there… Angela
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You have a beautiful blog. Nice post, too. Yes, especially for social introverts, blogging is wonderful. On the other hand, it’s another way to avoid real contact: “I can’t meet you because I’m too busy (blogging).” Also: they say it’s easier to bare your soul to strangers, and that’s also a big part of it. For me anyway. Thanks for sharing.
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That is so true for me. I feel much more at ease sharing what I write with strangers than family or friends–not that I think they would be unkind, but may feel they have to pretend to like it more than they do.
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Haha, yes, exactly.
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The poem is perfect. And the blog post, profound thoughts about introversion.
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Many thanks, especially about the poem. I never know what to think about them.
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Great post! When I started blogging, I never thought I’d become so addicted to it. My life would feel so empty if I stopped 🙂
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I can’t imagine not blogging either–I love it. Thank you so for leaving a comment.
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Reblogged this on amolsarmalkardotcom and commented:
Reblog..
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Reblogged this on opposite of anger is empathy.
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I’m just smiling after reading this poem…it’s beautiful
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Thank you so much for that lovely compliment!
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Reblogged this on lazyhazedesigns.
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its a beautiful poem in there
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Wow! I can’t tell you how much I love this post!! I have never really thought about blogging in these terms…
My Dad just died and I was the only one in the family (other than my mother) who would “touch” my Dad in his final days. I would rub his feet, hold his hand, or just rub his back. Touch is the most amazing of all senses and one that we all need.
I just never thought about it in the sense of being touched on the inside and yes, I agree…that is much of why we blog.
Thank you.
Tomasen
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I’m so sorry about your dad. It was the same for me when my mom died–I was her main caretaker. I have a scene in a story I wrote about that with me rubbing her feet, you can read it here if you want, it’s short, but I think it captures something real about that experience. https://deborahbrasket.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/13-ways/
I’m so glad you left your comment for me.
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Pingback: Blogging and “The Accident of Touching” | mannixdee
Reblogged this on The Mermaid Swims and commented:
Had the most amazing massage yesterday. Mmmmm. Going to someone new, an adventure in risk taking. To allow a total stranger to touch you in ways …..well, to touch you…involves a high level of trust. And then to relax and let this take you…..places. OMG. Fun to play with the accidental touch thing. On flights sandwiched betwe total strangers, during a massage with a man with just the right perfectly deep pressure touchings. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s all on the up and up. But wow! Pretty exciting in feeling, and feeling I am somehow getting away with something. Okay, I should probably not do this. What? Did I do something? I didn’t do anything. Maybe thought something.
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Thank you for the reblog, and I love your comment!
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Reblogged this on The Foreigner and commented:
Just clicking through, be sure to get on this piece. It kinda gives an idea on how to structure your Blogs and streamline your ideas too.
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This is so true. Some of the most wonderful connections have come out of the interactions (the touches) I have received from various blogs and bloggers. Thank you for this post. It is lovely.
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Thank you. So glad you stopped by and left your comment.
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Sublime. I think this piece perfectly captures the emotions of a writer. Although we sometimes tell ourselves that as writers/bloggers, we write for the sake of writing and our own enjoyment, a response to our work really comes off as a validation of our efforts and an acknowledgment of our existence. I can feel so much emotion in this piece, and hey, just wanna tell you that you’ve certainly touched me, and I hope that even for the briefest or moments, this message touches you too. 🙂
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What a lovely comment! I do indeed feel “touched” by it.
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WoW! What an amazing post. You have hit on something so many of us experience and yet fail to adequately articulate.
I love what you’ve said and think your poem is very deeply beautiful.
Thanks.
FF
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I’m so glad you liked this. Thank you for saying so.
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Well put and nicely written. Come to think of it, one true reason I have been blogging is to open up that part of me which has remained largely hidden. To touch and to be touched, indeed. And Oh, love that poem too.
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Yes, opening up what was hidden, I like that. And so glad you enjoyed the poem.
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Beautiful poem. I feel the same way & hope all my writing/blogging evokes something in others. Thank you for posting Deborah.
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Thank you so much.
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That was breath-taking. You caught me by surprise. This post was articulate…above all, pure.
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I’m so delighted you thought so. Thank you.
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These connection of which you speak, of which all of us bloggers understand, are what others feel are the demise of “real” human connections. The thing is, for many people, these blogging and social networking connections are reliable and frequent and truly real, whether they’re the only connections we have or whether they add to the face-to-face connections we have. So beautifully written.
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Thank you. I agree–these connections do seem real and meaningful. The connections I have “in person” are enhanced, I believe, by the time I spend reading and thinking and writing these blogs. I don’t think they replace real connection in person, but increase it. So glad you came here and left your comment.
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hey deborah, once again a warm congratulations on being freshly pressed. your writing is brilliant and this post is particularly dear to me as I believe in writing and writing being cathartic.
“For loners or social introverts like myself, it’s a way of reaching out to others that feels more comfortable than the spoken word. I feel I may be getting “the best” of them in those wee hour revelations, as they are getting the best I have to offer, a side of myself I seldom share apart from the written page.”
this bit, especially, speaks of my own thoughts and feelings and infact, I did write something similar to what you wrote, only not as well. Your writing is remarkable and i wish if I can even scratch the surface of the level at which you write at. Brilliant.
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Thank you so much for those kind words!
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Reblogged this on Hodgepodge 4 the Soul and commented:
Couldn’t have said it any better…
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Great post, great compilation of info and great poem! So happy to have been touched by you! 🙂
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I am new to blogging and to be honest I started it for business reason but I am a reading addict. Now I find your post and have to rethink all of this because it looks to be more than I anticipated it to be. It will still be for business But if I keep finding post like yours it will an enjoyable endeavor.
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I started blogging because I’d heard it was something you needed to do if you wanted to get published. But then I discovered it was a great way to write about things that interested me that I wouldn’t have written about otherwise. It can be a great creative outlet. And fun too. Good luck with your blogging.
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Superb read. Thank you
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Beautiful post…awesome topic….Lovely poem. Keep in touch 🙂
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Reblogged this on lindambatha and commented:
an upper for the day. beautiful writing. thank you!
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Your blog on touching, really touched me. Thank you for the beauty of your sharing.
Here’s to Your Health
evelynmmaxwell.com
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Reblogged this on Life in a Garden .
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Reblogged this on dliwcanis.
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Reblogged this on contengan nafihan.
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Reblogged this on Tolerance Triumphs and commented:
Great Minds . . . Note that’ Leonardo inspired both writers at about the same time. OK, a few weeks apart. still, . . . serendipitous ? Maybe.
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What a good way to look at blogging. Eye-opening really.
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Reblogged this on Ahmad Bin Harib.
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Pingback: Blogging and “The Accident of Touching” | Green Girl Media, LLC
Reblogged this on a Few Weeks and commented:
I cannot have expressed it better. A piece that I would have liked to keep, to read over and over again…
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Reblogged this on jwelsstreasure and commented:
“Sometimes I pause my hand on purpose And hope to find yours there.”
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Very beautiful !
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Well written, and for some of us, timely.
Thank you for sharing.
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Nice post
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You have beautifully expressed our human need to be touched, appreciated and connected. Love Jenna
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This was a beautiful post that made me look at everything so differently. Thank you so much for your post, it was very enlightening.
– N Leher
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This is a great piece. I love your poem, and also the art you have incorporated into it. Lately I have been thinking that blogging has changed my life for a lot of the very reasons you mention. As a full time working mom, I barely have time to breathe, let alone connect on a meaningful level with people. Blogging has connected me to a network of people who are tuned into many of the same strengths and struggles I face in my world, and that sense of community helps me get through the day often. Strangely enough, I was just FP’d with a post about touch also, but mine was about being emotionally and physically touched out So, touch has certainly been on my mind this week. Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
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needless to say, you touch my soul by reading this beautiful post. Thank you, Deborah
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